Happily Unmarried

Thursday, November 10, 2005

Of birds, bees and babies

Missed posting yesterday so will make up with two or more today.

Highlight from the past two days is that Shwetu gave birth to a baby boy. Shwetu is a Mom. She has a Son. And she just hung up on me cause the baby crapped! Wow. This is the girl I've had many, many firsts with. This is the girl who’s known me through all my boys and men from the time we were both 14. It’s one of those girl-friendships where you seem inseparable to begin with, swear undying loyalty, slowly grow apart when life situations change, and you get back in touch many years later only to discover that somewhere along the line, you’ve both become women.

So you hurriedly, awkwardly try and update each other on everything that’s gone by and you fall in love with each other all over again. For the same reasons you’d seen so much more clearly at 14. Shwetu and I are like that. We haven’t really kept in touch from the time we both passed out of junior college. But we’ve met every couple of years and tried to “take it from where we’d left off.” That never really happens of course; there’s too much we don’t know about each other’s lives, but somewhere, we both know childhood friendships don’t need the same degree of servicing and maintenance that grown up equations do. We don’t need to hang out, party together, vacation together or even call and sms all the time to feel connected.

But then, I’ve stretched this comfort to unbelievable limits. I once accused her of having a scene with Chetan and tried to hate her passionately. And then I went right back and broke down in front of her when he broke my heart for the first time. And incredibly, two years ago, I missed her wedding. Because of no other reason, I simply forgot. And if that wasn’t enough, I shamelessly tagged along with Shwetu and Harish when they went on their first weekend trip together after the wedding. And I forgot to pay them back the money I’d borrowed in Pondicherry. And after pouring my heart out to her about Sandeep, I didn’t even meet or call Shwetu before I shifted to Bombay. Despite the fact that our houses in Blore are half a kilometer apart.

But that’s us; blowing hot, blowing cold, not blowing at all at times. And what can I say about her? She’s had her shares of strange men, relationships and tangents. But now, she is a wife and a mother. Obviously, the birds and bees talk that Champa gave us on a hot Bangalore afternoon has paid off. Shwetu has got it right; while I am still fumbling.

- H

It's part of the rites of passage I think... the girls that you have grown up with, shared real and imaginary heart aches with, agonised over restrictions at home with are now wives, mothers and daughters-in-law. There are saas-bahu stories, visits to the gynaec stories, playing the mother stories and the high of being married stories floating around. When you hear these, it does seem like 'these are things that happen to others, not me'.

I think Sneha was the first in my brood to take the plunge and get married and make baby in quick succession. I remember going through this phase of 'Fuck! Sneha just had a daughter and she has a husband (doesn't matter that I can't stand him)! And I am not even sure if I am with the right man and if I am, if I want to get married?'

Four years with Srushti has sort of gotten me used to the idea that I am part of the leftovers of our bunch. But what the hell! Mountains, Ladakh, Manali... none of those would have happened if I was saddled with a husband or a baby or both! But I think I should buy my first floral singlet and crochet bag when Tanu says she is going to have a baby or if you decide to jump in the deep end, H.

- I

2 Comments:

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  • I guess this will be the first comment on your blog without any solicitation for business.

    Firstly, a very neat blog. Inspired me to start one of my own.

    Why am i commenting?

    Because on the day of Shweta's delivery, I happened to call Chetan. He spoke to me hurriedly like he was in the midst of something very important.

    I asked him something about business. He answered saying he was in the hospital and Shwetha had just delivered a baby.

    I was shocked and told him "Yavag appa!!! Yenu heldhira henge!!!. Only, last week I saw Shwetha at your place and didn't see any indication"

    He peevishly replied: "Illa Girish, Hema friend Shwetha has delivered. It's not what you think"

    Relieved, I apologised. He had a hearty laugh and me too.

    By Blogger Claudius The God, at 12:22 AM  

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