Happily Unmarried

Tuesday, November 22, 2005

With Or Without You

My honeymoon at the new job is coming to an end, I guess. Considering my posts are getting shorter and the posting frequency is growing longer.

Good day at work. Bad headache. Hungry. Very, very, VERY broke, considering that my previous company is still sitting on my “full and final settlement” and I haven’t yet completed a full month at the current job. In fact, SO broke that I have been scraping my wallet, bags, pockets, cupboards, drawers, whole apartment for loose change to buy cigarettes with or pay the auto driver. These two indulgences apart, I am pretty much living off friends, colleagues and countrymen. Hitching rides to and from work, buying on credit from the grocer, bumming cigarettes from a very generous colleague and politely declining offers to go out. And bills – credit card, mobile, electricity, newspaper – have been piling up, up and away. And all this after I borrowed cash from mommy at the beginning of the month and spent a largish chunk of it in Goa and the remainder in Bombay, over the past weeks.

Yes, I know. It’s a disgraceful state to be in for someone hovering on 27. But there are four things I have no control over in my life – my kinky hair, my carb and sweet cravings, money and Mr Big. My hair behaves marginally when I condition and/or blowdry it. My food craving is under control when I am working or I am working out. Money, well, when there’s lots of it, it behaves itself, too. And Mr Big? Well, between escalating work and depleted finances, there hasn’t been much time to brood. But when I do brood these days, I think of the With Or Without You lyrics he sent on sms once, in one of his drunken hazes, in the early days:

My hands are tied
My body bruised, she’s got me with
Nothing to win and
Nothing left to lose

Well, I guess I can’t live. With or without you.


- H


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