Happily Unmarried

Wednesday, December 21, 2005

Nomenclature-ly Challenged

What are people thinking when they name their kids? I mean, what's with names like Venkatachalapathy and Koteshwaran? Is it because they want to show neighbours and relatives they have come up with a name no one has heard of? Is it because they want their kids to have a complex for the rest of their lives? Do they plain hate their kids?

This particular tangent is because I just spoke to a friend from Manali. A common friend has just had a son and named him Yagyasen! I think that kid will first kill them and kill himself when he is 13. May his soul rest in peace...

I mean, I am the wrong person to speak about bad names. Like all good Tam Brahm girls, I have a name that everyone knows me by and I have a name that I want to bury 30 ft under and not let anyone know about. My grandmother must have had a quirky sense of humour. She decided to name me Godha and Aandal as my two alternative names.

Why couldnt it be Seethalakshmi or Subbalakshmi like how Umsy and Seetal had? Why Godha and Aandal? It screams my Tam Bramh roots from across the solar system. Don't get me wrong. I don't have a problem with my roots at all. I enjoy my pongal and puliyogare as much as the next good Iyengar girl. But there are better names even among self-obsessed Iyengars. I would have been happy with any of those...

Thank god I had company in Chinu and Tanu. Their alternate names were Chandramukhi and Chandralekha! Add Hattangady to those names and neither of their names would fit on regular forms - college, banks, credit cards included.

H knows a 'quite-a-BHMB' teenager called Hoysala Garudanagiri. She doesn't seem to find anything funny in it. I thought it was funny enough to be my MSN nick for a few days. Poor kid, imagine a cool dude 16-year-old being called Hoysala Garudanagiri!

Umsy knew of two sisters called Premachandra Nesakumari and Vimalachandra Rajakumari. I swear I swear I swear!

And I know someone who is called Kaliya Mardhanan. Unfortunately he also handles the accounts for our department and communication with him is inevitable. I have to really try hard to behave myself and not say, "Tera kya hoga, Kaliya?"

If all that wasn't enough, H decided to rechristen me "Wiggy Ye Wang Mangalakumari S Vanmanthai Premachandra Nesakumari Vimalachandra Rajakumari Squealy Prasad" two weeks ago. Made me wonder why I need enemies at all. H makes up for it once in a while with such inspired additions to my life...

- I (WYWMSVPNVRSP)

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