Happily Unmarried

Friday, November 25, 2005

Where's Bangalore?

I can't find Bangalore! I? G? Vinati? Aman? Katy? Can someone tell my WHERE my city is?!

Ps. The city is lost, but ah, the weather is still hanging around. Hallelujah.

- H

My boss, the senior management member

H is here for the weekend with Deepak. The all-new, branded Deepak in a peach-orange shirt, beige trousers, brown shoes, hair that behaves itself and stays in place... A Deepak none of us recognise from a month ago!

He is in a different dimension now - head of content and production of one of THE biggies in the internet space, jetsetting across India and planning trips all over the globe. He is in the news, he hob-nobs with the names to reckon in the internet, he is a member of the Senior Management, he has a laptop to kill for, he turns up in office at 9.30 every day, he doesn't have the time to surf Cnet and Slashdot and Shaadi anymore... and he has learnt the art of corporate dressing!! (Ok, that's thanks to his image consultant, Hamida, but still!)

And this is the same guy who had to be woken up at 8 if he had to turn up in office before 10. Yes, there were days when he was in office at 8.30, but that was thanks to the trafficophobia that Bangalore inspired in him. Many hours in office were spent drooling over the latest graphic card or headphone and analysing the pros and cons of many proposals on Shaadi.com. When it rained (which is 8 months a year in Bangalore), we would run up to the terrace to get drenched and if we were feeling particularly careless, make boats out of the pages of the company report.

Now... he is not my boss anymore but he is still H's. And yes, I envy her. But thanks to the wonders of the internet, I am still almost always bugging him on messenger about my panic attacks and the latest debacle here. So, I guess, in some vague, vicarious way, he still is my boss.

- I

Thursday, November 24, 2005

Mama, I'm Coming Home

My first work trip to Blore. God knows how long I’ve dreamt of this! Food. Home food. SOUL food. Anna-Saru. Curd rice. Filter coffee in the steel tumbler I’ve been drinking out of as long as I can remember. Rain. Cold. My comforter. View with a room. Green. Unlimited hot water. Mom and Samu. G and I. Java City. Koshy’s. Tavern. (hopefully). This is going to be a good weekend.

- H

Wednesday, November 23, 2005

Here, there, everywhere

Prini, Shuru, Aleo, Hampta, Juara, Sethan, Stok, Changspa, Phey, Lamayuru, Sarchu, Darcha, Koksar, Keylong, More Plains, Tanglangla, Diskit, Hunder, Batal, Chatru, Chanderatal (!!!), Kunzum, Losar, Kaza, Kyi, Kibber, DHAD, Sumant, Solaris, database, app server, NB voting, game, ad sales, targets, incentives, dumb flunky, dumber flunky, dumbest freak on planet, current man, ex-man, may have been man, will never be man, girlfriends, old friends, 'were' friends, birthdays, holidays, alternate realities, alternate careers, alternate jobs, alternate lives... Go figure!

- I
PS - All-over-the-place day at work. That should explain the above.

Tuesday, November 22, 2005

With Or Without You

My honeymoon at the new job is coming to an end, I guess. Considering my posts are getting shorter and the posting frequency is growing longer.

Good day at work. Bad headache. Hungry. Very, very, VERY broke, considering that my previous company is still sitting on my “full and final settlement” and I haven’t yet completed a full month at the current job. In fact, SO broke that I have been scraping my wallet, bags, pockets, cupboards, drawers, whole apartment for loose change to buy cigarettes with or pay the auto driver. These two indulgences apart, I am pretty much living off friends, colleagues and countrymen. Hitching rides to and from work, buying on credit from the grocer, bumming cigarettes from a very generous colleague and politely declining offers to go out. And bills – credit card, mobile, electricity, newspaper – have been piling up, up and away. And all this after I borrowed cash from mommy at the beginning of the month and spent a largish chunk of it in Goa and the remainder in Bombay, over the past weeks.

Yes, I know. It’s a disgraceful state to be in for someone hovering on 27. But there are four things I have no control over in my life – my kinky hair, my carb and sweet cravings, money and Mr Big. My hair behaves marginally when I condition and/or blowdry it. My food craving is under control when I am working or I am working out. Money, well, when there’s lots of it, it behaves itself, too. And Mr Big? Well, between escalating work and depleted finances, there hasn’t been much time to brood. But when I do brood these days, I think of the With Or Without You lyrics he sent on sms once, in one of his drunken hazes, in the early days:

My hands are tied
My body bruised, she’s got me with
Nothing to win and
Nothing left to lose


Well, I guess I can’t live. With or without you.

Smile.

- H

As a matter of men...

It's an age-old mystery, in the same league as the Sphinx, Bermuda Triangle, UFO sightings and H's kinky hair. Many brave women have gone forth to solve it only to be mercilessly sent back without an answer. It's a question that every woman I know has asked atleast once - Where are all the eye-candy, letchable, put-agianst-the-wallable men?

And all of us are sure of one thing, they are in none of the cities we are in. City on the plateau, where I live, doesn't seem to have had any in the last decade or more since I started noticing the other gender. Umsy swears Delhi is full of pasty Punj men. H gave me a lowdown of the 'cute' men in her previous job, but I suspect her city by the sea might just have the 2 1/2 good-looking men in the country, purely because it's the glamour capital.

Maybe it's to do with age as well... The few males that we would term a dish aren't in the same age bracket. Consider the Daniel Radcliffeses or Richard Geres of the world. Or worse, they are completely wrong or utterly unattainables or both, like H's Mr Big.

When it comes to eye-candy, letchable, put-agianst-the-wallable men, what we (and 'we' is my species, the female Homo Sapiens) say, seems to be the biblical truth - All good men are either taken or gay.

- I

Monday, November 21, 2005

Hot, Hotter, Potter


I manage to post once to I’s three posts, but usually make up with my sheer rambling length. However, for now, life and its many woes can wait. Harry Potter is the flavour of our lives. I am in love with Harry, and she with Krum. Like she’s already written, a lot of detailing is lost in the movie; the Triwizard Tournament hogs all the reel time.

But for diehards like us, it hardly matters. We’ve already seen the rushes and Director’s Cut in our heads and can picture the bits you don’t see on screen.

But in the movie, Harry – Daniel Radcliffe - is enormously lust worthy. He’s the kind of guy who grows up, breaks your heart many times over and makes you swim in your own drool by doing absolutely nothing. Before someone informs the Cyber Police of a pedophile lurking in these parts, I’ll sign off with a picture. That should tell you why a 26-year-old is smitten by a boy 10 years younger.

Sunday, November 20, 2005

Krums! It's Viktor!


Disclaimer - Only for those familiar with Potter-dom!
Credits - Umsyyyyy, for sending me yummy Krum snap and Hema for the yummy Harry snap that she promises she will send soon.

Scene 1 - on screen
Quidditch World Cup - Fred and George are damn cute in their Irish colours.

Scene 1 - off screen
My sister and I are fighting in whispers over who gets Fred and George. For those of you suggesting that we should have split them, you don't know Harry Potter! They are a package deal and it would be a sacrilege to think that one of us could take one of them. As McGonagall put it "You, babbling, bumbling band of baboons!"

Scene 2 - on screen
The start of the Triwizard Tournament. Students of Beauxbatons and Drumstrang walk in. Fleur Delacour walks in first. (Ho hmmm, she is not as nice as I thought she would be) Then... walks in VIKTOR KRUM.

Scene 2 - off screen
PLONK PLONK PLONK - That's my totally-in-crush heart bouncing in the drool around my seat.

Aside from that, the movie had loads of really have-to-be-there details missing. Hermione had very un-frizzy hair, Ron wasn't half as cute, Ginny didn't look like Harry would fall in love with her ever, Snape appeared only to show off his vial of Veritaserum, the Sphinx and Giant Spider didn't appear in the maze, the Death Eaters didn't torture muggles at the World Cup, Dudley Dursley didn't even make an appearance, Voldemort didn't have a beard (I always imagined him with a beard, more like Karkaroff!) and Harry looked more 17-going-on-18 than 14. But then, it had KRUM! Krum made up for the rest of it in the 10 minutes of screen-time he got.

...Now that I have acted in a completely undignified 16-year-old manner, all that reminds me of a decade earlier infact. We were three girls, averagely-mad in a regular teenagers kind of way, who spent 16 of the 24 hours obsessively discussing Shah Rukh Khan and for the rest 8, the complete lunatics that one of us always managed to pick up for boyfriends.

Oh well, somethings never change. Shah Rukh Khan is old news, though I really liked him in Swades and had an irresistible urge to hit him in Veer Zaara. The trio has changed as well, it's a duo now. Between Umsy and me or Mamatha and me, we can spend upto 20 hours now, systematically analysing the various anatomical features of Abhishek Bachchan. *Sigh* And now, Viktor Krum...

- I