Happily Unmarried

Wednesday, December 21, 2005

Nomenclature-ly Challenged

What are people thinking when they name their kids? I mean, what's with names like Venkatachalapathy and Koteshwaran? Is it because they want to show neighbours and relatives they have come up with a name no one has heard of? Is it because they want their kids to have a complex for the rest of their lives? Do they plain hate their kids?

This particular tangent is because I just spoke to a friend from Manali. A common friend has just had a son and named him Yagyasen! I think that kid will first kill them and kill himself when he is 13. May his soul rest in peace...

I mean, I am the wrong person to speak about bad names. Like all good Tam Brahm girls, I have a name that everyone knows me by and I have a name that I want to bury 30 ft under and not let anyone know about. My grandmother must have had a quirky sense of humour. She decided to name me Godha and Aandal as my two alternative names.

Why couldnt it be Seethalakshmi or Subbalakshmi like how Umsy and Seetal had? Why Godha and Aandal? It screams my Tam Bramh roots from across the solar system. Don't get me wrong. I don't have a problem with my roots at all. I enjoy my pongal and puliyogare as much as the next good Iyengar girl. But there are better names even among self-obsessed Iyengars. I would have been happy with any of those...

Thank god I had company in Chinu and Tanu. Their alternate names were Chandramukhi and Chandralekha! Add Hattangady to those names and neither of their names would fit on regular forms - college, banks, credit cards included.

H knows a 'quite-a-BHMB' teenager called Hoysala Garudanagiri. She doesn't seem to find anything funny in it. I thought it was funny enough to be my MSN nick for a few days. Poor kid, imagine a cool dude 16-year-old being called Hoysala Garudanagiri!

Umsy knew of two sisters called Premachandra Nesakumari and Vimalachandra Rajakumari. I swear I swear I swear!

And I know someone who is called Kaliya Mardhanan. Unfortunately he also handles the accounts for our department and communication with him is inevitable. I have to really try hard to behave myself and not say, "Tera kya hoga, Kaliya?"

If all that wasn't enough, H decided to rechristen me "Wiggy Ye Wang Mangalakumari S Vanmanthai Premachandra Nesakumari Vimalachandra Rajakumari Squealy Prasad" two weeks ago. Made me wonder why I need enemies at all. H makes up for it once in a while with such inspired additions to my life...

- I (WYWMSVPNVRSP)

My life goes mmmm... zzzzzzzz

Mundane life goes on. It's been a completely boring rigmarole of coming in to office, battling egos and grand plans, freezing on the way back home with intermittent drinking and watching movies. The only noteworthy day was Saturday when we had the office annual party.

People actually turned up in the prescribed dress code - red! Drinking, dancing, food and gossip happened - in that order. But this year's party was no fun. There was no DK, there was no H, there were none of the entertaining people because on paper they are in a different company, so "sadly couldn't be invited" as our HR person explained. But I discovered that one of the new kids in my team is almost sort of like us - likes Abhishek Bachchan, drinks rum, dances only when very drunk... so we hung out together and bitched about the seedy guys in office.

It's been back to normal life and mundane existence routine since then... ZZZZZZZZZZ

- I
PS: Birthday and new year coming up. So I have been wondering if I should make a resolution to quit drinking. Or should I keep such resolutions for a later birthday?

Monday, December 19, 2005

Ohw rae ew? (How are we?)

Deyboad Kyslexia, noun: A keyboard-related disorder marked by impairment of the ability to structure spellings correctly while typing.

Symptoms generally include: Typing fast with inaccurate spellings, numerous attempts at correcting them and getting them wrong every time.

That's what H and I suffer from. In our dictionary, teh is the and so is the... no, the... GRRR, hte. hte is also the! There, got ti (it) right finally.

Obviously, the thumb rule for deyboard kyslexia is that when you are trying to get it wrong, you always get it right!

While some of the kyslexic spellings / phrases are limited to typing on the comp, there are others that have become a part of our everydat (yes, that's everyday) vocabulary. So some of us have hubsands and I wear a hemlet while riding my bike. Our names become Inud or Heam. And we tell the ricksahw (rickshaw) guy to go sraight (t is missing). Vaat we say is always wokay, of course!

There are also phrases that we have copyrighted and use as if that's the right way of saying things. Chinu was dark of the scared. Tanu often went to bike the park. In college, we have often classed the bunks. Of course, we show our empathy with "I secho your entiments". Some of them are howlarious, really!

When we regress to baby-talking, there is a P equivalent to all our na,es (names). Chintu-pintu, tanti-panti, hema-pema, indu-pindu... Quite simple.

When the three of us used to get into a rickshaw or car, it was statutory to ask "We all fat?" No, not fat fat, but fit-fat. Like sit-sat. Gotted, sented, camed... all goes. So dies (does, does, does) tuppid, idiota, dementor and gube.

Some people might call this just bad spelling, but we figure it sounds better to say that we suffer from Deyboard Kyslexia (Keyboard Dyslexia, if you still haven't figured it).

H's contribution to this post: liek, ahve, smae, maek, tehn, sometiem, oethrwise, taht, thign, forjot, niec and anything that ends with mnet (ment) like entertainmnet.

- U (I)