Happily Unmarried

Monday, January 23, 2006

Not Happily-unmarried for long...

If it weren't for marriage, men and women would have to fight with total strangers - Dave Barry

While I am quite accomodative with strangers, I draw my line at fighting with them. And that's why I have decided... well, almost, unless I decide to run away in the next 15 days... to cross over. Yes, I will not be happily-unmarried for long now. I am playing spoilsport to the single spirit and leaving H as the lone ranger of the singlehood cause.

So, this is a farewell message of sorts. I contemplated if just the act of marrying qualifies to feel un-single. Coz frankly, while I am in the middle of the biggest circus in Bangalore, I still FEEL very much single. Am I supposed to feel different? I mean, I will continue to do my own thing - hang out with friends, go gallavanting around the Himalayas on my own, crib about men, job and such... So where does being single end and being married begin? Are just the act of marriage and a free pass to legitimate sex enough for you to mutate into the "those creatures, the married ones"?

What is really giving me the kicks right now is seeing mom go through Bangalore like a whirlwind. And she is planning to invite Bangalore, Mysore and for good measure Chennai as well. I guess after I have made her wait for 27 years to play 'bride's mom' she is entitled to go a wee bit berserk, that being the understatement of the millennium.

But wait a minute, I am still wondering how I ended up with a huge, jing bang wedding! I was going to have a simple wedding with just the family in an obscure little temple. I was not going to spend good money on one day of my life. I wasn't going to expand my wardrobe just because I was going from being Miss to Mrs... Or so I thought. But before I had confirmed on the M of marriage, jing bang and their neighbour had happened. And here I am contemplating grinning at 500 odd people, playing the good 'bahu'.

Brings me to my next big question - how did I end up being a gujju bahu, something I had developed an aversion to after years of Kyunki and Kahaani updates. After I had told myself I wouldn't want to have anything to do with a state that's ruled by a fanatic (Narendra frigging Modi, if you are still guessing). And now gujju bahu is no longer just tulsi... it's going to be ME!!! Goodbye Indu Prasad, Welcome Indu Ben. And if one more person says, "Kem cho, maja ma?" I will be convicted of brutal murder.

Oh, and the other questions that you should be wary of asking me right now (take into consideration that I am averaging about 5 hours of sleep and 40 hours of frantic dashing around Bangalore on a daily basis AND that the traffic is reeeaaallly bad here):

- So, do you know to cook? (What do they mean??!! That because I am getting married, I have to be a certified chef?? Or that the man is incapable of foraging for food to stay alive without his food-goddess wife?? Does anyone EVER ask the guy that??!!)

- So, what are you going to change your name to - Indu Kaushal or Indu Desai? (Hello! I said I am getting married. I didn't say I was undergoing a personality and identity change. I am Indu Prasad, with my whims, tantrums and fancy notions. Those are not changing anytime soon and so isn't my name. In anycase, why doesn't anyone ask K if he is changing his name to Kaushal Prasad aka Sanjay Leela Bhansali. Ok, that is mom, but wife's name should also be good enough)

- So, what does your "fiancee" / "would-be" do? (Err, last I heard, he had a name. Also, what's a would-be?? If we have decided to get married, shouldn't it be will-be?? Or do we still have doubts?)

- So, will the wedding be in "our style" or "their style"? (Wrong person, wrong question. My rituals IQ is somewhere in the negative. So, my knowledge ends at knowing that I am getting married. Definitely doesn't extend to "style" questions)

Last word - I am looking for someone who will stand proxy and take my place on Feb 16, the W-day. I am guessing that by then I will be in coma from lack of sleep and won't be a nice gujju bahu at all. So, willing candidates, please submit your applications here.

PS - And no, DON'T bother telling me how I missed the big day by 2 days... As far as I am concerned the Valentine's season with its pink hearts and corny love-song albums should be banned.

- I

2 Comments:

  • This is sad!

    By Blogger peacelamp, at 3:08 AM  

  • I would go incognito for u, but being a hairy male I think I would soon be found out. Congratulations and good luck gujju girl :D

    By Blogger Francis, at 9:07 AM  

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