Happily Unmarried

Thursday, March 09, 2006

The True Story

First there were Us - single, footloose, fancyfree, having loads of fun. Then there were Them - married, not-so-footloose, not-so-fancyfree, having fun but not loads. One fine day, Them happened to see Us. They noticed that Us were having fun... perhaps, too much fun. They didn't like it at all.

"It's not fair" they thought, "that we have to worry about parents and in-laws and kids and making ends meet for all of them, about infrastructure and statistics and logistics and maths homeworks." They tried to get in touch with their Buddhahoods, to be generous and let Us have fun while they went about with their sleep-deprived lives.

As the God of Irony would have it, at that particular time in evolution, the Buddhahoods were all away at an International Conference of Buddhahoods (Entry free. All are welcome!) in Burkina Faso and weren't available to give solace to Them when they needed it.

So the Buddhahood-deprived Them had no choice but to give in to their temptations and spoil the party for Us. So they got together and came up with a Gameplan.

Step 1: Introduction and Temptation
As the kickoff of their Gameplan, Them started hanging around with the unsuspecting Us. There was a lot of fun hanging around and chatting. In between, were tantalising tit-bits about life as Them - devoted husbands, adorable kids, loving in-laws, promise of a never-ending party with a great gang thrown in. Sure it was all that, only they exaggerated the picture by about 300%.

Of course, unsuspecting as they were, Us bought the story. Life was already a party for them, but what Them promised seemed like a Bigger Party.

Step 2: The Crossover of the Us
The more daring of Us were the first ones to take the plunge. There were grand weddings and lots of plans for the Bigger Party to come. Then they discovered the truth, the whole dark scheme behind Them's plan. But once the Crossover happens, the membership into Them was automatic and there was little they could do.

It only took a few years for them to be transformed into Them. Once converted, they took over the implementation of the Gameplan. Soon Us were dwindling rapidly. There was almost an exodus to Crossover and be part of the Bigger Party. There were Us scrambling for halls, saris, wedding menus and jewellery. Everyone was in a hurry not to be left behind.

Meanwhile the Them were secretly congratulating themselves. "Ha ha" they thought, "Not long now. We will soon have spread the virus so that the newer members won't take long to take on the mantle and bring in more members. There won't be many Us left and there won't be so much real fun going around." And whenever guilt struck, they justified it with, "Afterall, misery loves company."

And now... On the Them Planet, these are sunny days. They are happy in their multitude while efforts to bring in more members go on. They gang up and share stories of infrastructure and statistics and logistics and maths homeworks. And they continue to live not-so-happily everafter.

On the Us planet, most of them are gone. It is getting less footloose, less fancyfree and a lot less fun. The few that are left are under great pressure to give into the temptations promised by Them. The force of the Gameplan constantly threatens to suck them onto the Them planet. How long can they hold out?

- I (A recent member of Them, wanting to record the true story before the amnesia-inducing life as Them erases it from my brains)
PS: Tangent? Story? Whatever... it's my reaction to another one taking the marriage bait. Yes, Aruna Raman is going to be hitched soon. Welcome soon to the Them planet, Aruna.


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