Happily Unmarried

Thursday, September 07, 2006

One foot in a time warp, one in the present

This post is for you, Girish T.

Yesterday, while chatting with H, she said something that hit me. That I might be married, but at heart, I will always be a Quirky Alone. Thanks for the vote of confidence, H. While I keep arguing with the husband or anyone else, that I can't help thinking like a single, because just marriage can't have changed me, there are moments of doubt when I think, "Well, I am at home mostly... working, but still at home. For the last month or so, I have been puppy sitting and holding fort while the husband has to go out with groups. I cancelled a holiday in Ladakh because I couldn't find anyone to take over the puppy sitting. I have long, meaningful, heart-to-heart conversations with the pups. I cook a lot more dishes now than before, my phulkas even blow up like a professional's. I play hostess to vague people who drop in with the husband. And my social circle is limited to three humans, 1 dog and 7 pups... Those are classic signs of a 'loser' housewife than any."

I keep trying to break the mould by chatting with whoever I can pin down on msger, going out for long chai-and-momo sessions with two other people I know here, by locking up my mangalsutra in the cupboard and by dumping the pups and cooking on the husband when he is at home for a day or two. Sometimes, I think I am losing it. Other times, when I hear of the politics at play in my old job or any other place, I am glad I am away from all that. Mostly, I love to sit on my balcony and gaze at the valley. Early snows have started on the higher ridges, it's getting colder every day, the stream that flows next to the house is as noisy as ever. It's the perfect time of the year... only I wish H was here to see all this. You know, H, I can't really gush about all these the way I can with you. Last night, it was almost full moon and it was a clear night and I could see all the way to the Solang ridge at the head of the valley. You remember that one?

Sometimes, I just drift back to a couple of years. I was just back from the first time in the mountains and I was on a high. H had just moved to the city by the sea, T was still around, so were A and the man who is now the husband. There were endless evenings over coffee in Java City and weekend movies. It was fun and I miss doing those things, but I mostly miss the time we managed to spend with the gang. And no, G, you are wrong in wondering if they were just 'time spent'. They were good times to most of us and remember what they say, there really is nothing like a long evening with old friends. New friends are fun, yes. H has her set, you have yours and I have mine, but that's what they are - new friends. They will be others later, I am sure. And each set of friends become part of a time warp, a different one for different sets.

I miss the old times, I also like my present. Is there any way to merge the two? I might not take the time out to call so often, but then that's what old friends are for, especially the ones who saw your single days' madness. You can pick up where you left off. And no, G, you haven't "disconnected". Of the gang, you are the only one still there while the rest of us have gone away, at least physically. And I don't need to tell either H or you, G, that we still have lots of chats to catch up on. Winter would be ideal to do that here, so think about it. If not, I will make it to the city on the plateau or the city by the sea at some point and we will do it there.

Add your bit, H.

I